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|Blogger Embarassed in PRT Mix-Up
|08.11.05 (6:30 am) 
*** ******'s current interest in Rep. Mark Olson, religion, sexuality, and whatever they have to do with mass transit brings this exciting news:
Aug. 11 (Holy Christ News Net)— A two-day blog offensive against Presbyterian Rapture Theology and State Rep. Mark Olson (R-Big Lake) was cleared up when the sinner, a Minneapolis-area transit activist, acknowledged that he had meant to criticize another PRT, Personal Rapid Transit, and got confused.
"I was confused," said the activist, who gave his name.
The teapot-tempest began Aug. 10, when the activist quoted 1st Corinthians Ch. 7 as support for his belief that Rep. Olson should cruise for women on trains or buses. "At the time I wrote that, I did not know that that part of Corinthians was actually about the problem of herds of sheep blocking roads in the Corinth metropolitan area, and not about confirmed bachelors at all," said the activist. "Although some kind of mass transit system like LRT, Lutheran Rapid Transit, could have given Corinthians an alternative to herd-jams, so they could leave their chariots at home."
But despite the clarification, the activist still had plenty to question about Presbyterian Rapture Theology. The activist stated, "This elevated form of rapture is bogus! People rising up into the air would be able to see into people's bedroom windows. Ask people in your congregations if they want all the trees on their street cut down, so as not to block ascensions."
He also said that full immersion baptism is "a complete, pathetic waste of time."
"Catholic, 'sprinkle' baptism is a proven, dependable mode of baptism," the activist said. "Full immersion wastes water. It creates a drowning hazard. How do you know the last baptizee didn't pee in the pool? And, uh, it's promoted by beverage companies, who have given large sums of cash to church supply companies."
When asked for proof, he gave reporters the subject line of an e-mail, "Re: Our plan to use up all water on the planet & make everyone drink Snapple." He said he did not have the original message with him.
"I doubt many churches will want to purchase huge baptism pool systems, since the water isn't even heated," he said, holding up an illustrated brochure from the GolgothSpa Pool Company. "Show me where they've installed water heaters in these photos."
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***, a/k/a *** ******, PRTSkeptic, Kendall, Kenwood, Kenton, Kenworth, Kent, Avibore, Avismores, Avisnore, Avidork, Aviscorn, Avigolemono, Labridor, Lubridor, Lugubridor, Kiln Ovendoor, Klose Opendrawer, Undiedrawer: the author of "PRT Is a Joke" and "PRT Is Bogus." He hates it when people don't mention his name. So we don't.
Balatro: "fool" (Latin)
*Blog, The: "PRT is Bogus", the blog of ***
gPRT: "Get On Board! PRT," the home page of this blog (see PRTJJ)
LL: "Lloydletta," a blog *** has joined
LTO3: Lies Told Over and Over and Over. See also: Talking Points, ***
PRT: Personal Rapid Transit
PRTJ: the "PRT Is a Joke" website
PRTJJ, PRTJ2: "PRT Is a Joke" Is a Joke
"PRT Is Bogus": See The *Blog
SWE: Skyweb Express PRT system
Talking Points: See LTO3
T2K: Taxi 2000 PRT company, maker of SWE
ULTra: Urban Light Transport PRT system